I’m a Working Mom

There is one thing I’ve stayed completely away from in this blog: politics. I’d like to continue to do so. However, there has been a little bit in the news lately about working mothers thanks to a certain presidential candidate.

Bottom line, there were two major views quoted from a book he wrote many years ago. My paraphrasing:

1. Providing things for your children is just a convenient excuse for pursuing a gratifying career outside the home

2. Working moms who want to work have been brainwashed by Radical Feminists

Regardless of whether this particular candidate truly believes these things, I am fairly certain there are many people out there who don’t understand working moms. Of course all of this caused me to reflect on my reasoning for being a working mom. But first I’m going to quickly say what I think about the views stated above:

1. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. First, I know many working mothers who would love to stay at home but it isn’t financially feasible. They aren’t making excuses, it’s just reality. And what about single moms? How on earth can they support their family without working?

2. Ah, here we go. I’m actually one of those working moms who want to work. Gasp!! Clearly I’ve been brainwashed.

Okay, moving on…

Here’s why I am not only okay with being a working mom, but I actually prefer it.

I LOVE my son. If you know me, you know this is a fact. Jason and Brody are my whole world and I will do anything to make them happy and thrive. I do actually believe that working outside the home is better for Brody.

Brody goes to a GREAT daycare. Do I disagree with what they do from time to time? Sure. Does he learn a ton more than I could ever teach him? Most definitely. After turning 1 he quickly started coming home with paint on his shirts. After I got over how messy he looked, it clicked…wait? 1-year- olds can paint?? Ha! I would have never given him this learning opportunity so early. Who would have thought that sensory tables were great for babies and toddlers? I would have never thought to do that at home, too messy! I’ll counter-argue this and say that if I stayed home with Brody I would likely educate myself much better and do everything I could to teach him all that he learns at daycare. But, it’s not natural for me, and I’m so happy he gets the opportunity to do so many different things.

I’m happier. I love my job (most days), it makes me feel good to do something I’m good at. I like the interaction with my co-workers and I like the opportunity for advancement. I’ve moved up several times in my career and I love it every time. This may make me selfish, but I’d rather Brody have a happy mommy than a cranky mommy.

I like providing for my family. The careers Jason and I have established allow us to do a lot of things over the last 5 1/2 years. I like that we can do that. If we weren’t both working, we could make many easy choices to make it work, but I like it that when we aren’t working we can do so many things we love (like travel) without having to think twice. Brody has been able to experience a lot in two short years and we hope to keep providing this for him.

The biggest reason it works for us?

Jason.

Hands-down. I couldn’t have the career I have without him. He picks up Brody most nights at a much earlier hour than I would be able to. He makes dinner every.single.night. He’s awesome. And a much better cook than me! He’s also an amazing father. And at the end of the day, he supports me in everything I do.

Another thing, I love that we don’t fit the traditional family stereotypes. From day one Jason was as much involved in caring for and raising Brody as I was. It’s not a duty that only falls on mothers anymore. Maybe men are getting screwed in this modern approach to parenting (like actually having to get up in the middle of the night or change gross diapers). But I’d like to think that by doing my share financially, I’ve also reduced the burden that husbands typically feel. We provide for our family together just as we care for our family together.

If I’m being honest (and luckily Jason doesn’t read this blog very often), there are many days where he does more than I do. Some of that is because I work longer (so I have less hours at home), and some of it is because he’s super awesome. But there’s one thing we’ve never done in our marriage. We don’t keep score. It all evens out over time.

We have a 2 year old

Clearly I’m a bit behind in blogging. Things have been busy around our house this year, including two trips to Orlando over 10 days for me. We’ve also been getting over colds, ear infections and random fevers.

Birthday update will be done soon, but it has come and gone, Brody is officially two! And he’s bringing in the year in style.

Terrible Two Style.

I don’t know what happened to my sweet, endearing little boy!! Okay, he’s always been a little crazy, but not so dramatic! I’m trying to take it a day at a time and approach from the “this too will pass” mentality. But that little man sure knows how to push my buttons.

His language is great these days. He’s really doing a good job communicating and it’s nice to know what he wants most of the time. Of course, with his ability to tell us what he wants, comes with demands:

-Brody sit in chair. Mama, couch!
-Mama eat breakfast.
-Brody no nap! Toys!
-More books Mama! (After reading 5 million before bed) Then…More songs Mama! (I secretly love this one because there is a day that will come where he realizes I’m not that good of a singer)
-Watch Guppies!

Most of these “requests” I’ll happily do for him. Some I have to put my foot down (bedtime stall tactics). Others, I just cannot allow…and this is where the temper tantrums come in.
Recent examples:

1. Biggest fight ever about having cookies for dinner. Brody saw cookies on the counter and decided that is what he wanted for dinner. For starters, he very very rarely eats any desserts and definitely not cookies. So cookies for dinner?? Out of the question. The obvious compromise (if you eat your dinner you can have cookies for dessert), didn’t work.

Result: 30 minutes of temper tantrums, crying, screaming, 1 unsuccessful time-out, a few tears on my part…and he finally gave in, ate his dinner and had cookies for dessert.

2. Marshmallows with dinner. We don’t even have marshmallows in the house! Apparently he’s been getting them at school for good behavior (will post about my opinions on this another time) and came home expecting the same thing.

Result: A few whines/cries, distraction with another food he liked, eventually forgotten about. Whew, crisis averted!

3. “Red Car Mama!!” — Um, well, sure it would be great to drive the red car today, but your father already left with that car, and the brown car is the only choice we have. Oh and he said this after we were already a block away from the house! Where does he come up with this stuff?

This one is also right up there with his demands to drive. He’s asked several times if he can drive. Luckily he had a toy steering wheel we keep in the car so he can pretend. I’m sure this won’t be the last time we get this request between now and 16.