Fashion Advice from a 2 Year Old

The perks of a sweet little boy just keep coming…

Last  night, talking to Jason on the phone:
K: Did my package come in the mail today?!?!
J: Yes, I see you got two pairs of shoes.  The white ones are ugly.  (This is what I love most and least about my husband – he holds nothing back)
K: Well, maybe they are, I did pick them out online…I’ll look at them when I get home.

Get home & I think they’re cute – so I ignore Jason and proceed to wear them this morning.  I walk into Brody’s room to wake him up.  Within 30 seconds of being in the room:

B: Mama’s shoes are pretty!!
K: (Not sure I heard him right) What did you say sweetie?
B:  Mama – pretty shoes!!

After thanking him for being such a sweet little boy, I quickly yelled downstairs to tell Jason that he’s clearly wrong about the shoes.  We’ll just ignore the fact that I’m taking fashion advice from a two-year-old!

Why it’s so much harder the second time

If I’m going to be honest (which I really try to do on this blog, but sometimes am not as blunt as I could be), this pregnancy is 10x harder for me than the first.

For starters, this little man…

…is definitely going through an interesting phase right now. I use the word interesting, because even though I want to use a much harsher word at this point in our lives, I know it’s not really that bad. But, let’s face it, I’m stubborn and can be sassy. Jason? Well he’s definitely stubborn, and strong-willed. So the fact that our sweet adorable little son would be stubborn? Strong-willed? Shouldn’t be a surprise!!

Brody is at a stage where he can verbalize what he wants, but isn’t old enough to understand that sometimes you just don’t get what you want. This ensues with a lot of arguments about what to eat, how late he can stay up, whether or not he can watch tv…etc. Then there is the utter defiance when he doesn’t get what he wants. He doesn’t know how to show frusteration, so there is a lot of screaming in our faces and every once and awhile, hitting.

All of this is hard enough for any parent to deal with (it’s just a phase though, right?!?), then add pregnancy stress, nausea and exhaustion on top of it? It definitely doesn’t help.

Which brings me to how my second child is treating me (not that I can blame a baby in utero). But my nausea has been much worse with this little one and the exhaustion is probably the same, but much harder to manage with a two-year old to take care of.

Then…if all of this didn’t make it a more difficult pregnancy…

I started a new job (same company, new position). Yes, this was a very good thing for me and my career. It was totally the right thing, and I am very excited/happy about it. But good stress is still stress. Learning something new, taking on a young (experience-wise) team and trying to improve things requires a lot of time and effort.

Then on top of everything else, Jason is going through a lot of turnover at his work, which with his lovely title of VP, makes him responsible for picking up the slack. Which makes him just as tired and stressed at the end of the day as I am (well I’ve got the baby-making thing tiring me out, so maybe he’s not quite as tired as I am…)

Of course add all of this up and I realize that I haven’t focused on baby#2 very much. When you’re pregnant with your first, it’s all you can think about and so much of your focus. So when I realize I’m already 16 weeks pregnant and time is flying by, I feel bad that I am not as connected to this baby as I was to Brody.

Things were so much easier the first time around. Don’t even remind me how much harder having two children to look after is going to be!!

We have a 2 year old

Clearly I’m a bit behind in blogging. Things have been busy around our house this year, including two trips to Orlando over 10 days for me. We’ve also been getting over colds, ear infections and random fevers.

Birthday update will be done soon, but it has come and gone, Brody is officially two! And he’s bringing in the year in style.

Terrible Two Style.

I don’t know what happened to my sweet, endearing little boy!! Okay, he’s always been a little crazy, but not so dramatic! I’m trying to take it a day at a time and approach from the “this too will pass” mentality. But that little man sure knows how to push my buttons.

His language is great these days. He’s really doing a good job communicating and it’s nice to know what he wants most of the time. Of course, with his ability to tell us what he wants, comes with demands:

-Brody sit in chair. Mama, couch!
-Mama eat breakfast.
-Brody no nap! Toys!
-More books Mama! (After reading 5 million before bed) Then…More songs Mama! (I secretly love this one because there is a day that will come where he realizes I’m not that good of a singer)
-Watch Guppies!

Most of these “requests” I’ll happily do for him. Some I have to put my foot down (bedtime stall tactics). Others, I just cannot allow…and this is where the temper tantrums come in.
Recent examples:

1. Biggest fight ever about having cookies for dinner. Brody saw cookies on the counter and decided that is what he wanted for dinner. For starters, he very very rarely eats any desserts and definitely not cookies. So cookies for dinner?? Out of the question. The obvious compromise (if you eat your dinner you can have cookies for dessert), didn’t work.

Result: 30 minutes of temper tantrums, crying, screaming, 1 unsuccessful time-out, a few tears on my part…and he finally gave in, ate his dinner and had cookies for dessert.

2. Marshmallows with dinner. We don’t even have marshmallows in the house! Apparently he’s been getting them at school for good behavior (will post about my opinions on this another time) and came home expecting the same thing.

Result: A few whines/cries, distraction with another food he liked, eventually forgotten about. Whew, crisis averted!

3. “Red Car Mama!!” — Um, well, sure it would be great to drive the red car today, but your father already left with that car, and the brown car is the only choice we have. Oh and he said this after we were already a block away from the house! Where does he come up with this stuff?

This one is also right up there with his demands to drive. He’s asked several times if he can drive. Luckily he had a toy steering wheel we keep in the car so he can pretend. I’m sure this won’t be the last time we get this request between now and 16.

Bring on 2012!

Alright, everyone is doing it (except my husband)…

It’s resolution time!!

So let’s start with how I did on my 2011 resolutions.

-Organizing. I made great strides, but this is a continual effort.
-Losing weight. Happy to report that I lost about 10 lbs in 2011, but I still have about 10 to go to be at a reasonable weight (in my eyes).
-Spending life living in the moment. I’m happy on the progress I made on this one last year. As I blogged, 2o11 was spent with a lot of family travel time. There was the slight hiccup of August where I dissapeared for about 6 weeks, working way too many crazy hours. But I think i’ve recovered from it pretty well and tried to make up for it when I can.

Now onto 2012 resolutions:

-Get in shape. I like this better than “losing weight” because at the end of the day, I don’t care how much I weigh if I am healthier and more physically in shape. My sister is helping me with this resolution and we start preparing for a 5K in March. I have to blog, facebook, whatever I can about it, so that I get enough peer-pressure to make me stick to it. Honestly, I used to love running, so getting back into it will be really good for me. And then, obviously the weight will come with it.

-Continue to organize. I still have opportunities here and with all the stuff we keep accumulating with Brody, we need to find a better way to organize. We also plan to have more children, someday. (Not committing to when or how many for those grandparents out there reading this). But along with future child/children comes more stuff! Ugh, I groan just thinking about it.

-Home improvements. Starting with little things like curtains, hanging more pictures, organizing. Then moving to bigger stuff, re-tiling our bathroom, painting, landscaping. I often dream about buying a new house, but clearly the cheaper option is making the house I already own more loveable. So that is what we’re going to do.

Happy 2012 to everyone & help keep me honest on my goals!!

Sometimes I Forget…

To remember how lucky I am…

Between the naptime and bedtime struggles as well as a preview of “terrible twos”…Brody has been a little more stressful than usual. And with a long winter ahead with less and less time outside, I imagine we’ll have plenty more stressful days ahead.

So yes, sometimes I need to remind myself…

The sleepy boy who refuses to take a nap is the same boy who loves to cuddle in the rocking chair and read books or sing a song.

The boy who can get frusterated to the point that he’ll scream or cry is the same boy who says, “love you mama.”

The high-energy toddler that loves to run around like crazy, pulling out everything onto the floor is the same toddler that will let you tickle him until he’s laughing so hard you think he’ll stop breathing. Then when you stop, he’ll yell’ “more!” because he loves to giggle.

He makes my heart melt on a regular basis with his love, smiles and personality. So — when he’s crying because I did something as simple as breaking a piece of bread in half instead of giving him the full slice — I just need a simple reminder of how lucky I am to have him.

Family Vacation

Every summer, my Dad, Stepmom and as many children that can make it, head to Grand Haven, MI for a family vacation. Between my Dad and Sara, they have 7 children, 2 extended children (Jason & my step-sisters long-time boyfriend) and 1 grandchild. So we end up with quite the crowd (all pictured above).

Last year, when Brody was about 6 months old, we took him for the first time. It was fun to bring him along, but there were a lot of things we couldn’t do with him. He was barely eating solids and couldn’t even crawl yet. So, this year, we had a lot of things we were excited for him to do.

First, we decided we were going to take a ferry across Lake Michigan, instead of making the drive around. We had to take a 6am ferry there and an 11pm ferry back to get the best deal, but it seemed worth it to save on sitting in a car for 6 hours. We were wrong…

The ferry ride to MI was great. Despite getting up early, Brody was happy and unlike an airplane, you could actually move around. It was rocky of course, but he was able to walk around and we even went on the top of the boat to get some fresh air and check out the water.

The ferry ride home? Awful! I’ll spare you the details, but it was stormy and the lake was choppy. Needless to say, it was 11pm at night, Brody was tired and seasick and I was on my own in taking care of him since everyone else on the boat wasn’t doing so well either. I’m never complaining about the 6 hour car ride again!!

Aside from the ride home, the rest of the trip was a blast.

There are several traditions we have for this annual trip. One tradition involves ice cream at a place in town that has a huge variety of yummy flavors. So, despite the fact that I generally don’t give Brody much for dessert, he had to have ice cream with everyone else. I did make the mistake of getting his in a bowl when everyone else got a cone. He ended up finishing my ice cream cone instead and I had to eat out of the bowl!

Second tradition is a place called “Pronto Pups.” They batter and fry corn dogs in a stand on the road and while completely awful for you, they taste great! Brody’s first experience with fried food was a good one of course.

We stay at a home a block away from Lake Michigan, so there is a lot of beach time while we’re there. Last year, Brody freaked out when we tried to expose him to the lake. The water was even relatively warm and he wouldn’t go near it. So we were a little unsure how he would do this year, especially when I wouldn’t go in because it was too cold (and this was in the middle of August!!)
So we walked him to the water….

He checked it out…

And within minutes he was laughing like crazy and loved running into the waves. This is the kid the can’t handle it if his bath is lower than 98 degrees. Yet he went running into a freezing cold lake with no problem. What a crazy guy.

We knew the sand would be his favorite part and it definitely was. He even let Jason bury him in it. All was fun, until he ended up with sand in his eyes…

The best part about vacations with the entire family is not only the fun we have together, it’s also a huge help when you have a little guy. Everyone there is more than willing to help take care of him and keep him entertained. And since we stay in a house, it’s easy for him to adapt to a “home away from home” atmosphere. It’s by far the easiest vacation with a toddler. And next year he’ll be able to do even more!

Children Come First

I believe this is a phenomenon that happens with all mothers, we tend to put our children’s needs before our own. However, I found that not only do I put Brody’s needs before my own, but my choices for him are held to a higher standard than my own. Let me explain…

–When I was pregnant, I stopped drinking my daily lattes and cut down to one caffeinated beverage a day. Brody’s health came before my addiction to caffeine. Despite the fact that I was able to survive with less caffeine for 9 months and it’s clearly healthier for ME to cut back…it’s just not enough motivation.

–I have never taken Brody outside for more than 5 minutes without putting sunscreen on him first. Yet I seem to forget every once and awhile to put it on myself. And I have the peeling skin to prove it.

–Vegetables with dinner? For Brody? Of course! Do I make enough for myself? Not always…

–I won’t feed Brody take-out/drive-thru food, yet I’ll eat it myself. We go out to dinner and Brody eats grilled chicken and broccoli and I’ll order a breaded chicken sandwich.

I do try to take care of myself and know that I need to live a healthy lifestyle so that I can be around to watch Brody grow old. It’s just a lot easier to make the right decisions for him than it is to make them for myself.

Why I blog

As anyone who actually still looks at this blog knows, I have barely written anything in the last few months. So I began reflecting on why I blog…

Well, it started as a way to document my pregnancy and then realized it’s also a great way to keep family and friends (who I never have time to call on a regular basis) in the loop on Brody’s development as a baby. He was changing daily, so it was nice to document it.

Now…Brody has gotten a little older and while he is still growing and changing at a rapid pace, it’s not the same as the first year of his life. Some weeks, I don’t have as many things to write as others. Then there are the weeks that I have a ton to write, but don’t have the time to do it. Then when I find time, I forget some of the things I wanted to write about.

The other day I was browsing through older posts on my blog and looked at some pictures of Brody that don’t seem so long ago. Yet, he looks so different today than even a couple of months ago. And I realized that I’m missing out on documenting his first summer as a toddler. And it’s been a busy, adventurous summer!

So on that note, a preview of our 18 month professional photos (taken by McManigal Photography). Once again, she did a wonderful job capturing Brody and our family. These are only the first few that we’ve seen, but I expect the rest to be just as wonderful.

Working Mom – 1 Year

One year ago today, I returned to work after 12 wonderful weeks of maternity leave. I will be honest, I was happy to return to work and 12 weeks was actually a little longer than I think I needed. Brody was taking 4 hour naps at home and I got a little stir-crazy. With a second child (down the road…) 12 weeks probably won’t seem boring when you have an older child to take care of at the same time!

Now, a year later, I am still glad that I work. As hard as it is at times, I do love my job and what I do. I know that Brody is well taken care of at daycare and I know they are much more creative than I would be as a stay at home mom.

There are a lot of challenges to being a working parent. But I think the one thing that makes us working mothers stress out more than our male counterparts, is guilt. I constantly feel guilty that I’m not doing enough for Brody or spending enough time with him. I feel that men can look at this more rationally, where I tend to be more emotional about it. Jason will be the first to tell you that we need time together just the two of us and that we both need to make sure to make time for ourselves as individuals as well. But then I instantly worry that it’s taking away from Brody. Especially since I spend so much time away from him at work.

I will also tell you that I am definitely my worst critic. I often feel that I could be a better mother, a better employee and a better wife. Don’t even get me started on how I could be a better daughter, friend and sister… That said, Brody is obviously thriving, I was promoted at work and my husband continues to love me. Clearly I’m not failing!

This isn’t a blog for reassurance that I’m doing okay, this is just something that I think most mothers struggle with and I’m no exception. The desire to do the best for all of those in our lives with not enough hours in the day to do it.
While I know that one day it will probably get even harder, for now the three of us seem to have a system that works and I love every minute of my life with my favorite two boys.

What I Wish for my Son…

This blog is generally about Brody. However, I still like to write about my non-Brody experiences from time to time. Who I am as a person both before and after Brody really shape the type of mother I am. And this past weekend as I was driving home from a really wonderful Friday night, I began dreaming about Brody’s future and the types of friends that he will have someday…

Let me start by saying, I have truly amazing, wonderful friends that I never see often enough. Most of them live too far away to see on a regular basis. And even if they lived closer, we are all busy with babies, pets, houses and work. On top of that – I’m awful at staying in touch on the phone. Luckily one of my best friends is pretty good at calling me – otherwise I swear we’d never talk.

So last weekend she invited me to her house for a girls-night. It wasn’t all of our girls, but the ones that live close enough to get together. It was perfect. It’s great when you get together with the husbands, and children, but every once and awhile you need time with just the ladies.

And what did we do? We sang Karaoke. Yes – it sounds silly – but that is actually what we used to do when we were in high school! (Did I mention I’ve known these ladies for a very long time?) So we took a trip down memory lane and sang some really good and not-so-good songs.

As I drove home Saturday morning I thought about how lucky I am that no matter how often we get together – they’re still the people I can tell anything to or sing stupid songs with and we’ll still be friends.

As Brody grows up, I hope he’s as lucky as I am to find good friends that stick with you for life.